an email was sent to me today, and the message goes like this;
> > > > A woman is at home when she hears someone knock
> at the door.
> > > She goes to the
> > > door and opens the door to see a man standing
> there. He
> >
> asks the lady "Do
> > > you have a vagina?.
> > >
> > > She slams the door in disgust.
> > >
> > > The next morning she hears a knock at the door
> and it is
> > > the same man and he
> > > asks the same
question of the woman "Do you
> have a
> > > vagina?".
> > >
> > > She slams the door again.
> > >
> > > Later that night when her husband gets home she
> tells him
> > > what has
happened
> > > for the last two days. The husband tells the wife
> in a
> > > loving and concerned
> > > voice "Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be
> home just
> > > in case this guy shows
> > > up again".
> > >
> > > The next morning they hear a knock at the door
> and both run
> > > for the door.
> > > The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice
> > > "Honey, I'm going to hide
> > > behind the door and listen and if it is the same
> guy I want
> > > you to answer
> > > yes to the question because I want to see where
> he is going
> > > with it".
> > >
> > > She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
> > >
> > > Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and
> asks the
> > > same question. Do
> > > you have vagina?".......
> > >
> > > "Yes" she says......
> > >
> > > The man replies.
> > > "Good! Would you mind telling your husband
> to leave my
> > > wife's alone and
> > > start using yours?"
What a shame..:)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Monday, December 8, 2008
christmas gift suggestions
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
Merry merry Christmas y'aLL! ;p
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
Merry merry Christmas y'aLL! ;p
how to charm a woman?
How can you charm a woman? Do they like a daily check-in phone call? Does she secretly wish you'd text her in the middle of the day for no reason but to make her smile? Do they prefer expensive dinners to home-cooked meals? Rock-hard abs? Flowers for no reason?
Identifying women's turn-ons is complicated, because they all react differently. Some women you wish came with owner's manuals so you knew exactly how they were wired. Luckily, I've done most of the legwork for you and am happy to pass this knowledge on to you.
Top 10 ways to charm a woman
1. Be aware. This means cracking open more than the sports section on the daily paper. Be up on current events and learn the difference between feelings, emotions and thoughts. Women are emotional beings and tend to think things through.
“They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter”
They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter than them, and your knowledge of worldly matters will demonstrate your intelligence.
2. Demonstrate humor. Women love a man who can make them laugh. Now don't fret here if you're not a stand-up comedian. We all have a certain type of humor. You can be dry, sarcastic, hilariously funny, quick-witted or dark. Being able to poke fun at yourself and just plain old being goofy is a turn-on for women. Keep in mind that all women are not attracted to the same type of humor, so if you don't vibe, just walk away and try someone else.
3. Have passion. A guy who lives his life with gusto is incredibly appealing. When you speak to a woman about your life, your travels, your job, your interests, speak with passion. That passion about who you are will turn her on instantly. She will start to imagine what it will be like when you are involved with her and how passionate you will speak about her.
4. Be considerate. Pay attention to the little things and look for opportunities to make small gestures that show you care. A simple "How was your day?" and being able to listen to her when she wants to discuss something are huge. So many men forget about simple things like holding the door, paying for her valet or just thanking her for a great time last night. Women are all about a guy with manners -- she is not attracted to the dope who acts like a caveman.
5. Be honest.
“Share who you are by telling her something personal”
Share who you are by telling her something personal. Maybe share one of your favorite childhood memories or some personal growth that you have been going through. Something that will show her that you are a trusting and honest person. It also shows that you are a confident but vulnerable man. Women love to see the vulnerable side of you. Note: Don't talk about an ex in a bad way here. If you have to talk about an ex, do so in a positive manner and share what you learned and how you grew from the relationship.
6. Be flexibile. Be open to her plans but surprise her with your flexibility. Take charge and surprise her with a fun night out. Instead of being the typical guy who makes a reservation, think about how you can be the guy who listens to her and plans a great date that she did not expect. If you can pull this off, she will be open to all sorts of advances from you.
7. Be positive. If you are positive about life, it shows in your actions. I always tell men to be extra nice to waiters, bartenders and other service people. Be a courteous driver when she's in the car. When you are in line at the movies, don't complain. Look for the humor and try to have fun with people all around you. Be positive about everything, and she will find you to be very sexy and alluring. No one wants to be with a negative hothead.
8. Be balanced. Women love a successful, ambitious man. They love that you work hard, but if you constantly put work ahead of her she will become turned off. She will start to imagine what life with you will be like with her needs being ignored. If you are out meeting women to date, you need to balance your life between work and play. This will be a major turn-on for her.
9. Have ambition. Men who are ambitious about what they do are a turn-on to women. It doesn't matter if you choose to be a rich stock trader or a painter, as long as you are passionate about who you are and what you do. If you don't love what you do, find something that really turns you on. You can't attract the woman you want with a negative ambition. Women love a man who is the best at what he does.
10. Be attentive. You are out with her for the very first time, and she tells you she loves a certain type of music. On the next date take her to a lounge that plays that type of music. It is all about paying attention to the details and working on your listening skills.
This list of 10 things will work in most cases. Keep in mind there is always the woman who you just can't seem to please. If you happen to cross paths with this type of woman, ask yourself, "Why would I want to be with a woman who is so difficult?"
I tend to avoid the difficult, judgmental women. Knowing women's turn-ons and putting them into practice will help you identify women who may be relationship material. You need to realize that you want to attract and turn on the women that are attracted to you on an equal level
Identifying women's turn-ons is complicated, because they all react differently. Some women you wish came with owner's manuals so you knew exactly how they were wired. Luckily, I've done most of the legwork for you and am happy to pass this knowledge on to you.
Top 10 ways to charm a woman
1. Be aware. This means cracking open more than the sports section on the daily paper. Be up on current events and learn the difference between feelings, emotions and thoughts. Women are emotional beings and tend to think things through.
“They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter”
They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter than them, and your knowledge of worldly matters will demonstrate your intelligence.
2. Demonstrate humor. Women love a man who can make them laugh. Now don't fret here if you're not a stand-up comedian. We all have a certain type of humor. You can be dry, sarcastic, hilariously funny, quick-witted or dark. Being able to poke fun at yourself and just plain old being goofy is a turn-on for women. Keep in mind that all women are not attracted to the same type of humor, so if you don't vibe, just walk away and try someone else.
3. Have passion. A guy who lives his life with gusto is incredibly appealing. When you speak to a woman about your life, your travels, your job, your interests, speak with passion. That passion about who you are will turn her on instantly. She will start to imagine what it will be like when you are involved with her and how passionate you will speak about her.
4. Be considerate. Pay attention to the little things and look for opportunities to make small gestures that show you care. A simple "How was your day?" and being able to listen to her when she wants to discuss something are huge. So many men forget about simple things like holding the door, paying for her valet or just thanking her for a great time last night. Women are all about a guy with manners -- she is not attracted to the dope who acts like a caveman.
5. Be honest.
“Share who you are by telling her something personal”
Share who you are by telling her something personal. Maybe share one of your favorite childhood memories or some personal growth that you have been going through. Something that will show her that you are a trusting and honest person. It also shows that you are a confident but vulnerable man. Women love to see the vulnerable side of you. Note: Don't talk about an ex in a bad way here. If you have to talk about an ex, do so in a positive manner and share what you learned and how you grew from the relationship.
6. Be flexibile. Be open to her plans but surprise her with your flexibility. Take charge and surprise her with a fun night out. Instead of being the typical guy who makes a reservation, think about how you can be the guy who listens to her and plans a great date that she did not expect. If you can pull this off, she will be open to all sorts of advances from you.
7. Be positive. If you are positive about life, it shows in your actions. I always tell men to be extra nice to waiters, bartenders and other service people. Be a courteous driver when she's in the car. When you are in line at the movies, don't complain. Look for the humor and try to have fun with people all around you. Be positive about everything, and she will find you to be very sexy and alluring. No one wants to be with a negative hothead.
8. Be balanced. Women love a successful, ambitious man. They love that you work hard, but if you constantly put work ahead of her she will become turned off. She will start to imagine what life with you will be like with her needs being ignored. If you are out meeting women to date, you need to balance your life between work and play. This will be a major turn-on for her.
9. Have ambition. Men who are ambitious about what they do are a turn-on to women. It doesn't matter if you choose to be a rich stock trader or a painter, as long as you are passionate about who you are and what you do. If you don't love what you do, find something that really turns you on. You can't attract the woman you want with a negative ambition. Women love a man who is the best at what he does.
10. Be attentive. You are out with her for the very first time, and she tells you she loves a certain type of music. On the next date take her to a lounge that plays that type of music. It is all about paying attention to the details and working on your listening skills.
This list of 10 things will work in most cases. Keep in mind there is always the woman who you just can't seem to please. If you happen to cross paths with this type of woman, ask yourself, "Why would I want to be with a woman who is so difficult?"
I tend to avoid the difficult, judgmental women. Knowing women's turn-ons and putting them into practice will help you identify women who may be relationship material. You need to realize that you want to attract and turn on the women that are attracted to you on an equal level
Sunday, December 7, 2008
a crap?
Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap?
* YES
When was the last time you were totally drunk?
* LONG LONG TIME AGO IN BETHLEHEM HAHA!!
.
So how do you feel at this moment?
* MIXED EMOTIONS.. SLEEPY AND TIRED
.
Whats d story behind ur pursued course?
* NO COMMENT
What comes first to your mind when you hear the word 'cheating'?
* EHEM!!EXAM OR QUIZ HAHAHA
.
Do you always have to listen to music?
* MOST OF THE TIME
.
What was the last rule you broke?
* HMMMMMM CANT RECALL
.
Does it bother you while on the road people constantly switch lanes?
* SOMETIMES
.
Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn't mean it?
* MAYBE HAHAHA!!
.
What is one thing that you can't resist?
* LOVING SOMEONE HAHAHA!!and SLEEP HAHAHA!!
.
Have you ever tried to force yourself to love something/someone?
* NOPE
.
Have you ever done another persons homework for money?
* NOPE.
.
Have you ever paid someone to give you their answers on a test?
* NOPE
.
Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing?
* maybe
.
Have you ever told someone they were absolutely worthless?
* YES...
Back
* YES
When was the last time you were totally drunk?
* LONG LONG TIME AGO IN BETHLEHEM HAHA!!
.
So how do you feel at this moment?
* MIXED EMOTIONS.. SLEEPY AND TIRED
.
Whats d story behind ur pursued course?
* NO COMMENT
What comes first to your mind when you hear the word 'cheating'?
* EHEM!!EXAM OR QUIZ HAHAHA
.
Do you always have to listen to music?
* MOST OF THE TIME
.
What was the last rule you broke?
* HMMMMMM CANT RECALL
.
Does it bother you while on the road people constantly switch lanes?
* SOMETIMES
.
Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn't mean it?
* MAYBE HAHAHA!!
.
What is one thing that you can't resist?
* LOVING SOMEONE HAHAHA!!and SLEEP HAHAHA!!
.
Have you ever tried to force yourself to love something/someone?
* NOPE
.
Have you ever done another persons homework for money?
* NOPE.
.
Have you ever paid someone to give you their answers on a test?
* NOPE
.
Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing?
* maybe
.
Have you ever told someone they were absolutely worthless?
* YES...
Back
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
sperM bANk
a man in mask entered a sperm bank...
man: "this is a hold up!"
girl: "but this is a sperm bank!"
man: "i know, open the vault, now!"
girl did as was told...the man took 5 containers of sperm...then at gun point said
man: "drink it!"
girl: "what?! are you crazy?!"
man: "just drink it!"
girl did as was told...same thing happened for containers 2 to 5....upon gulping down the last container, the man removed his mask then said..
man: "see honey, i told you it was easy...."
man: "this is a hold up!"
girl: "but this is a sperm bank!"
man: "i know, open the vault, now!"
girl did as was told...the man took 5 containers of sperm...then at gun point said
man: "drink it!"
girl: "what?! are you crazy?!"
man: "just drink it!"
girl did as was told...same thing happened for containers 2 to 5....upon gulping down the last container, the man removed his mask then said..
man: "see honey, i told you it was easy...."
Monday, November 24, 2008
Q and A
Q&A Portion:
Jay or Conan?
I’ve finally decided that I’d choose Conan over Jay. Conan is witty, funny and very sexy. I just love his hair. He seems like a very genial person. He’s very self-deprecating and humble. I think his wife is lucky to have married him. He seems like a genuinely affable guy, not to mention, he’s very talented.
Looks Over Personality?
Personality trumps looks. It’s what a person is inside that truly matters.
Who is your ideal man?
I don’t know yet. I know what I don’t like. I don’t like disloyal men. I never really had a thing for Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Sure, they’re handsome men but I just don’t know why I don’t like them much. I don’t like men who are not honest and direct. I really don’t know. I don’t think I have a concept of an ideal man anymore.
Artistic or Regular Guy
I’d love to be with a regular guy. An artistic guy can be too self-centered and egocentric. I don’t think I can handle that.
What are the kind of books that you love to read?
I love reading travelogues, science books, memoirs and classic novels. I’ve outgrown chick lit and sappy romance books. I’m more into memoirs now. I will always love books about foreign countries and books about food. Physics books and books on Buddhism are interesting as well. I’ve outgrown books on serial killers.
What kind of tv shows that you like to watch?
I was into Grey’s Anatomy when it first came out, but now I don’t like it much. I’m more into Men In Trees now. I just love Marin Frist, Jack, Patrick, Annie and the Elmo gang. I’ve just fallen in love with the characters and the locale of the show. It’s just wonderful.
I still watch Lost, Medium, House and CSI.
I don’t like Grey’s Anatomy anymore because everyone is sleeping around. It’s like everyone in Seattle Grace Hospital is having an ‘incestuous relationship’. Friends are sleeping with friends.
I dislike the idea that friends are sleeping with each other. You can actually link them all together based on who they’ve slept with. Dr. McDreamy is sleeping with Meredith and Adison, Meredith slept with George, George slept with Dr. Torres and the nurse; the nurse slept with Alex; Alex slept with izzie; Adison slept with Dr. McSteamy and them slept with the bone doctor. Everyone is sleeping around! It’s just absolutely crazy!
What turns you on?
A heart capable of love.
What turns you off?
Ignorance. Bigotry. Prejudice.
If you won the lottery what would you do with the money?
I’d start up a socially and environmentally conscious company that will actually help disadvantaged people; set up a school for disadvantaged women; travel around the world.
Favorite Food?
Still sushi. Will always be sushi. Sushi and chocolate. Dark chocolate. Sushi and dark chocolate.
Who would I love to meet and why?
Oprah- She’s a woman who achieved so much success not based on her looks but based on her brains. She came from a poor family but she never allowed that to hinder her dreams. She has proven to everyone that with determination and with ambition, you can do anything. She’s living proof that women shouldn’t limit themselves to achieve great things.
Wentworth Miller- he has a degree in English Literature and he seems very humble considering his sudden rise to fame; I’d love to be able to talk about books with him.
Sting- he’s a modern day minstrel. He’s an old soul. I’d love to talk music with him.
The Dalai Lama- I’d love to ask him how I too can achieve happiness.
Jay or Conan?
I’ve finally decided that I’d choose Conan over Jay. Conan is witty, funny and very sexy. I just love his hair. He seems like a very genial person. He’s very self-deprecating and humble. I think his wife is lucky to have married him. He seems like a genuinely affable guy, not to mention, he’s very talented.
Looks Over Personality?
Personality trumps looks. It’s what a person is inside that truly matters.
Who is your ideal man?
I don’t know yet. I know what I don’t like. I don’t like disloyal men. I never really had a thing for Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Sure, they’re handsome men but I just don’t know why I don’t like them much. I don’t like men who are not honest and direct. I really don’t know. I don’t think I have a concept of an ideal man anymore.
Artistic or Regular Guy
I’d love to be with a regular guy. An artistic guy can be too self-centered and egocentric. I don’t think I can handle that.
What are the kind of books that you love to read?
I love reading travelogues, science books, memoirs and classic novels. I’ve outgrown chick lit and sappy romance books. I’m more into memoirs now. I will always love books about foreign countries and books about food. Physics books and books on Buddhism are interesting as well. I’ve outgrown books on serial killers.
What kind of tv shows that you like to watch?
I was into Grey’s Anatomy when it first came out, but now I don’t like it much. I’m more into Men In Trees now. I just love Marin Frist, Jack, Patrick, Annie and the Elmo gang. I’ve just fallen in love with the characters and the locale of the show. It’s just wonderful.
I still watch Lost, Medium, House and CSI.
I don’t like Grey’s Anatomy anymore because everyone is sleeping around. It’s like everyone in Seattle Grace Hospital is having an ‘incestuous relationship’. Friends are sleeping with friends.
I dislike the idea that friends are sleeping with each other. You can actually link them all together based on who they’ve slept with. Dr. McDreamy is sleeping with Meredith and Adison, Meredith slept with George, George slept with Dr. Torres and the nurse; the nurse slept with Alex; Alex slept with izzie; Adison slept with Dr. McSteamy and them slept with the bone doctor. Everyone is sleeping around! It’s just absolutely crazy!
What turns you on?
A heart capable of love.
What turns you off?
Ignorance. Bigotry. Prejudice.
If you won the lottery what would you do with the money?
I’d start up a socially and environmentally conscious company that will actually help disadvantaged people; set up a school for disadvantaged women; travel around the world.
Favorite Food?
Still sushi. Will always be sushi. Sushi and chocolate. Dark chocolate. Sushi and dark chocolate.
Who would I love to meet and why?
Oprah- She’s a woman who achieved so much success not based on her looks but based on her brains. She came from a poor family but she never allowed that to hinder her dreams. She has proven to everyone that with determination and with ambition, you can do anything. She’s living proof that women shouldn’t limit themselves to achieve great things.
Wentworth Miller- he has a degree in English Literature and he seems very humble considering his sudden rise to fame; I’d love to be able to talk about books with him.
Sting- he’s a modern day minstrel. He’s an old soul. I’d love to talk music with him.
The Dalai Lama- I’d love to ask him how I too can achieve happiness.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
old couple loving makin' style :-)
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!'
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